The Way You Talk About Food Could Be Hurting Your Coworkers Heres How to Help

The Way You Talk About Food Could Be Hurting Yur Coworkers Heres How to Help For many workers, lunchtime is a coveted part of the workday. It means a break from meetings, emails, and projects. It brings food, time away from a screen, and perhaps even a chance to socialize with coworkers. Who doesnt love lunch? Ever since elementary school, I have looked forward to the promise of lunchtime with delight and expectation. Its when the hungry, tired, cranky version of me gets rebooted into a whole new part.Unfortunately, lunchtime can also be a minefield of emotions and even, at times, pain.Growing up with disordered eating habits (thanks, society) and a dysmorphic vision of my own body, my relationship with food hasnt always been a positive one. In many ways, the office lunchroom can act like an amplifier for the voices and self-conscious concerns that Ive worked hard to get out of my head. Needless to say, I now take care to avoid those lunchrooms that are emotionally toxic, because it can throw off my healing. In the process, I often miss out on valuable social time, the joy of not being at my desk, and even important networking and cross-departmental opportunities.If you want to ensure that the office eating-space is a safe place for everyone, heres how you can help1. Dont comment on anyones food.Seriously. Is this that difficult? I know social situations can be tense or awkward, and sometimes finding a delightful conversation topic is difficult, but we can all benefit from keeping the convo away from what I packed for lunch. I can count on two hands the number of times someone has frowned at my food and told me it looks healthy or weird or even nasty. Ouch.Aside from being rude, this type of comment makes me instantly aware that I need to watch what I pack if I dont want to receive a review from my coworkers. Suddenly, I might shun treats, avoid those leftovers, and ban carbs for fear of commentary. Far from considering what I should and could be feeding my bo dy, packing my lunch turns into a worry-filled game of what my office-mates want to see on my plate. Nothing kills my appetite faster than the potential for coworkers to shame my lunch or the lunches of others.2. Dont compliment my self-control.Eating disorders dont always look like binging or extreme restriction. What might appear to be small portion sizes, smart food prep, or a lunchtime ganzfruchtgetrnk could really be signs of a persons troubling and unhealthy relationship to food and their body. Whenever someone compliments the tiny amount of food Im eating, or says they wish they could eat like me, it only focuses my mind even more on food, body image, and calories.You know what your compliment doesnt put my mind on? Work Passion projects Relationships, hobbies, and so much more can fly straight out the window when a person is obsessed with their food, nutrition, or weight. This does not make for a healthy individual, office environment, or workforce. So please, dont give me h igh fives when Im not feeding myself. You never know when you could be enforcing an unhealthy and damaging pattern of behavior.3. Dont discuss fad diets (or ANY diets).Dear, dear coworkers, I want the best for you. I truly do If you want to make lifestyle changes for yourself, including informed changes to your eating habits, be my guest. But please, please, please do not tell me about it. When you talk about your efforts to cut out sugar, banish carbs, eat like a cave person, consume only smoothies, or similar plans, it sends my mind and heart into a tailspin. I question my own eating habits, instantly feel terrible about whatever I happen to be eating, and occasionally get into a frenzy of googling to figure out the facts behind unterstellung diets.Whats worse, diet discussions are often full of absolutes that simply arent real. When you announce that sugar is bad, full-stop, those words heap guilt onto those of us who happily incorporate sugar into our diets. (And sugar is not ba d, full-stop, okay?) Its important to note that recovery from disordered eating is a life-long process. Just because Ill allow myself more than a teaspoon of ice cream today does not mean that Ill eat all my meals tomorrow. One coworkers apparent morality-based issue with bread can send me down a rabbit hole of regression. It sucks Please leave your diet discussions at home, with people in your online community, or somewhere else.4. Dont take your coffee break with a side of guilt.Ill repeat this as many times as I need to. Going to the vending machine for a treat does not make you bad. Eating a cookie that some well-meaning person brought into the office kitchen is not sinful. My lunch does not need to follow a clean eating pattern because no food is dirty. I will not applaud you for eating right, making a good choice, or being good about food. What you eat has nothing to do with your value as a person. What you eat has nothing to do with your value as a person. What you eat has no thing to do with your value as a person. You are already good. What you eat is good. Bodies need food.When we rattle off the previously mentioned phrases that equate eating delicious food with being bad, we are setting up unrealistic and harmful expectations not only for ourselves, but for the people we work with. I do not need my value, my morality, or my choices questioned in the workplace. No one does.I would love to share a lunch break with coworkers. Unfortunately, many of my workplaces have had toxic food cultures that encourage employees to comment on each others food, announce whether they are being good or bad, and talk constantly about the food choices being made in the office. The sooner we can all calm down and eat our food, rather than discuss it, the sooner everyone will feel a whole lot more comfortable and more welcome at the break room table.More on office lunch--Kaitlyn Duling is an author, freelance writer, and poet who is passionate about supporting and uplifting other women. Her work can be found at www.kaitlynduling.com.